


Right Where We Should Be

by Cefhclwords



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 19:38:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19184299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cefhclwords/pseuds/Cefhclwords
Summary: An unheard voicemail from two years ago hurts more than Dele expects.“First thing I ever thought when I saw you Del, I promise it was. You, you think I- I didn’t like you? I wish it had been that easy, Truth is Del, I was fucking terrified. I didn’t know how to act like a total idiot. I was scared cause I didn’t know how to- you. Just proper terrifyingly beautiful, Dele” Dele hears Eric’s footsteps approaching, but he can’t stop himself now, enthralled by every recorded word of Eric.Based on the prompts: "You really think I'm beautiful?" and "what's that look for? Did I do something wrong?"





	Right Where We Should Be

**Author's Note:**

> This is a combo of two prompts since they linked well together! I hope you all enjoy lovelies! Xx Again I would so deeply appreciate feedback good, or bad or kudos! xx
> 
> Read more and request more at my tumblr: cefhclwords :)

Dele has reached a new level of bored, one that has probably never been reached before really, to be sitting here finally setting his voicemail up after about three or so years of procrastinating it.

It’s not like he has no plans for the night, Eric is coming over soon and bringing the dogs with him, they have season four of Friday Night Lights to get started on. Dele even has two plates of dinner prepared by his cook sitting in the fridge ready to be reheated, and that weird blood orange mineral water Eric likes.

It was just the last quarter on an hour before Eric arrived that had him void of anything to do, sitting on the couch, staring off into the distance.

He’d exhausted all his social media apps, didn’t have enough times to start a game of fortnight, the only person he felt like texting was on his way here.

He’d flicked around at his phones home screen, trying to think of a way to distract himself - and that’s when the phone app symbol caught his attention. Might as well, he thought, clicking it open before ringing the three-digit number in to access his voicemail box.

Turns out it was pretty simple actually, pressing a few buttons and recording a short voice message of “not here, so leave a message or text me” and that was that. What Dele hadn’t expected, was the automated voice to state “twenty-five saved voicemail messages”.

Dele had not realised that his voicemail actually functioned despite him not activating it- he knew from his friend’s complaints that it still let out and beep and let them record a message, but Dele just kind of assumed that they weren’t stored anywhere.

All things considered, twenty-five wasn’t a huge amount over three years, but most people in Dele’s life learnt quickly that his voicemail was useless and he couldn’t access it, and learn to just text him instead if he didn’t pick up.

Curiously tugged at Dele, and again with nothing better to do, He began to work his way through the voicemail bank, most of them fairly mundane or no longer relevant, or even just a few seconds of silence and Dele was able to delete them before they even finished up.

It’s when Dele got towards the end of the queue, maybe with only a handful of messages left to listen through, that one caught his attention. The automated female voice states a date that is almost two years ago now, time of three fifteen am.

The voice that comes through the speaker makes Dele sit up, eyes widening in interest. “No- fuck hang on mate, yeah yeah no just um the way that the thingy says” Eric’s voice was muffled, as though the phone was far from his mouth. It was obvious that he was talking to someone else- and Dele assumed for just a second that it was simply a butt dial, Eric probably forgetting to lock the screen of his phone before he shoved it into his pocket, somehow calling Dele up and leaving a message on the apparently working voicemail.

Dele goes to delete it, not bothered to listen through a cluster of muffled conversation and noises- disappointed at the prospect of finding out something nice and embarrassing to tease Eric with later was now no longer viable.

He goes to draw the phone away from his ear, when a suddenly a loud slur of his name rattles in the speaker. “Del. Deleboy” oh god, Eric is drunk, this is far better than a bit dial and the chances of getting some great material to drag Eric on and bring up to the boys next training is high.

“Hey, Dele” Eric’s voice is heavy and thick, drawing out the vowels like he’s exhausted.

Dele presses his knuckles to his top lip, smiling wide as he awaited the drunk rambles of 2017 Eric, and the reason he’d called him at 4am when clearly out his mind drunk.

“I- um. I just wanted to call you to tell you that I was leavin’ Harry ordered me a uber and I couldn’t find you before- there was a lot of people so” Dele’s smile dims slightly, Eric doesn’t sound like his happy drunk self, his voice is weak and low, he sounds lost and Sele moves his hand to press at his chest, absently rubbing his fingers against his collarbone.

“But I um I guess you were still with Ruby” Dele’s brows raise and a breath punches out from his lungs. The sound of her name in Eric’s mouth makes Dele’s stomach feel weird- it’s like hearing a noise from upstairs when you’re home alone, or that split second of feeling your feet slip out from under you before you fall.

It’s not like he and Ruby are on bad terms now, after it all, they still catch up on occasion, send a message here or there. But hearing “with Ruby” from the mouth of Eric, Eric who was his best friend when he left this voicemail, but now he’s so much more, he’s not just a boyfriend to Dele, he’s everything- it feels so wrong.

Dele hasn’t been “with Ruby” for a long time now.

“You said we’d split a uber home but I think I need to go you know. Sorry, but you’ll be right yeah? You have someone to take you home” Eric’s words are somewhat tricky to make out at times, but Dele focused on each word, that awful feeling still eating at him.

It’s obvious the boy recovered from his big night out and got home safe alone- considering here he was completely fine and safe two years on. But Dele has this irrational worry, a wish to help the Eric rambling to him from the past, make sure he got to his bed with Advil and water.

“I think that’s nice to have someone at home” Eric’s voice is husky, “I’ve got this man, what’s, what’s hang on” The sound of music and two voices talking are distantly coming through the phone now and for a dreadful moment Dele thinks that this was one of the rare occasions Eric had bought a boy home after a night out.

It had only ever been a handful of times- Dele usually one of the only ones to know of it. He didn’t know why at the time the thought of it had made him sick, he knew he didn’t care about Eric being bi, so it hadn’t been that. 

In the end, he’d blamed it on being worried about Eric’s safety, that these men were strangers and could sell out to the press to expose Eric. He’d been good at lying to himself then, feeling buried so deep because he just refused to see them yet.

Dele wonders why the fuck Eric would call him on the way to a hookup after a night out, before Eric’s voice returns and settles his worries. “This man David! David from Uber is driving me home so” Eric trails off.

“So it’s ok. In case you wondered where I went or something, I’m ok” he pauses and his breaths get heavier, the sound of a car horn honking in the distance.

“This is stupid, because I’m- I’m just, you, well you’re busy with Ruby” Eric’s voice cuts off with a short breath before he repeated himself “you’re with Ruby” and Dele’s stomach jumps uncomfortably at the tone of Eric’s voice. “And, and Harry and stuff and I’m sure um you didn’t even realise I’d left” Eric’s laugh sounds forced and awkward.

Most of Dele wants to hang up on the voicemail, he doesn’t want to hear more of this, not with the way Eric sounded like a hollow version of himself, drunk and spilling out his thoughts. Maybe it was best left in the past.

A smaller part of Dele, the one that had never heard Eric’s side of things before they got together, the one that wants to know even if it hurts, Is desperate to know every word Eric had left on his voicemail that night.

“Wait… wait, you-Dele! you don’t even have a voicemail Del” Eric’s voice blurts out, confusion in his tone, and Eric laughs a little at that.

“Sally’s always whinin’ about how you never get her messages” Eric’s words pause and Dele shuffled on the couch, fingers tugging at his t-shirt.

“Oh my god, Jesus I’m an idiot then aren’t I? This is double stupid and totally pointless then cause you will, just never even get this” Dele listens to Eric’s heavy sigh that follows the words before he lets out a groan.

“Wonder where this goes then?” his voice returns, softer now. “Probably absolutely nowhere right? Just talking into a fucking black hole what a waste”.

The phone goes silent for a little while, the sound of his steady breathing comforting Dele, he keeps a hand on his own chest and focuses on that, rather than the hopeless sound of Eric’s tone just moments before.

“You looked so good tonight Dele” his voice sounds different now, it’s sad still- but more settled, like he felt relief at knowing his words were going nowhere. Dele’s eyes widen, surprised at the direction the voicemail took.

“I wanted to kiss you so badly when we got to yours. You answered the door with that smile, where your nose crinkles up,” Eric huffs and continues “and you kn-know I love that shirt on you too. You do. That dark red always looks so good” Dele’s heart was pounding and echoing in his ears.

“But, I do kinda, like want- want to kiss you all the time Dele so I guess that’s not your fault, maybe it’s your fault a bit” Eric’s voice is a sad whisper and Dele’s hands pushing down against his chest, stomach clenching in hurt.

“Guess it’s probably best this goes into the black hole of voicemails” Eric’s words are directed to himself now, softer- so dele turns up the volume quickly, biting at his bottom lip. The emptiness in Eric’s voice makes him want to throw up.

He’s never heard Eric like this, not about them, about him, They’d spoken about all it, about Ruby and Maria, when they’d figured out how they felt about each other after it all came to a head after the world cup. 

Dele had always known that Eric realised his feelings before Dele had, Eric had always been more open to his emotions, and Dele’s sharp denial born of fear had delayed his own understanding of just how much he loved Eric.

This, this sadness, this desolate heartbroken Eric had been a side hidden from Dele, he had always been the one to know everything about Eric, but this, this had been the one thing Eric had kept all to himself.

Dele hated it, he felt powerless to know all this hurt had been felt, the pain had made its mark, the car crashed had happened so long ago now, all that was left was the tire marks on the road, and Dele was just now showing up with his first aid kit.

“You had so many cocktails again, too y’know you always say they give you the worst hangovers but you drank so many Dele. I hope you have painkillers I hope Ruby makes you a proper fry up, you’d like that” Eric continues his rambles, and Dele tries to focus on his words, get his mind off the pain in his stomach.

“To be honest Dele I think I ordered most of the cocktails for you but that’s a secret that between me and this phone” Eric’s laugh as somewhat warm then, and some of the pain in Dele’s chest eases, just for a moment before Eric’s voice cuts back in.

“But you give me this smile when I order ‘em for you, like, like it’s just for me. It’s different to your other ones, you don’t smile with your teeth, your mouth kinda pulls up on the side get those little dimple things, and and your eyes go all sparkly soft.” Eric’s sigh is wistful then.

“You’re beautiful Dele, do you know that? Do you know? You’re so beautiful I- it makes me. Like. I run out of words around you” Eric’s voice is a whisper, melancholy. Dele’s blushing now and has to swallow hard to try and keep the stinging behind his eyes at bay, nose tingling at the pressure in his head.

In the distance, Dele heard a car pull into the drive, the sound of a car door opening and closing before finally the sound of keys sliding into the lock. Clay and Cisco come bounding into the home, running into the living room and finding Dele quickly, piling into his lap.

 

Dele lets the boys curl into his lap, his hand alternating between petting each of them pressing his face into Clay’s fur as Eric’s voice cuts in again across the phone.

“First thing I ever thought when I saw you Del, I promise it was. You, you think I- I didn’t like you? I wish it had been that easy, Truth is Del, I was fucking terrified. I didn’t know how to act like a total idiot. I was scared cause I didn’t know how to- you. Just proper terrifyingly beautiful, Dele” Dele hears Eric’s footsteps approaching, but he can’t stop himself now, enthralled by every recorded word of Eric.

“The worst part is, Dele is that, that when I got to know you properly and stuff. Turns out you’re even more beautiful than I thought, cause your hearts beautiful too, you know not not like um your actual heart looks nice- probably looks gross but I mean like who you are Dele. That’s beautiful” Dele cuddles the dogs to his chest, blinking fast to fight the tears threatening to spill out.

“But, but you think, You see Ruby as beautiful. You see her like I see you And that makes you happy, so that’s okay too Dele” Dele has to close his eyes now, hearing his Eric walk into the living room, singing some stupid song under his breath, probably getting the lyrics wrong.

“Cause I love you Dele. Oh my god, I love you so much” Erics laugh is sad through the phone and such stark contrast to the Eric in front of him singing to Cisco with a beaming smile, wearing a hoodie that is far too big and a bright aqua for some reason.

Dele hates that he was part of the Eric is he hearing and can’t believe his luck to be here with the Eric he could see.

“I guess, uhh bye then? God, why am I still talking to myself? But yeah, um goodnight Dele. I hope you get home safe”

The voicemail finally ends then, and Dele’s ears are ringing and hot as he clicks the number two to save it, before locking his phone and dropping it to the couch.

Eric directs his attention to him now that he realises Dele is off his phone, looking across the room from where he is rubbing at Cisco’s tummy, smiling warmly at him “Hey Babe, Sorry I’m a bit late, Cisco didn’t want to eat so had to sit with him till he had his dinner” Eric stands up then to kick off his shoes.

Dele has kind of forgotten how to breathe, really, his mind is jumbled and his stomach feels like when he drinks too much water at half time, skulling it down to quench his thirst at half time only to feel sickly full and empty all at the same time.

He feels like he’s been jolted out of a nasty dream, a nightmare and was trying to catch up to reality, the fact that everything was actually okay even after it felt like the world had tipped over and spilled out everywhere, a mess at Dele’s feet.

It must show on his face because Eric’s smile fades slightly, his eyebrow-raising in curiosity as he takes one step closer, watching Dele carefully “What’s that look for? Did I do something wrong?” he asks, smirking, but there is a look of uneasiness behind his eyes and it spurs Dele into action.

The thought of Eric being unsure, with him- after all he just heard, Dele can’t stand it. He stands, causing Clay to jump down from his arms, padding off to find something new to play with and Dele walks toward Eric, throwing his arms around the man’s neck.

He racks his mind of what to say, to find the right words, now and for then, for all of it, to make it right.

All Dele can come up with is “You really think I’m beautiful?” there’s a thousand other things, a thousand different universes where Dele says something better, where he plays it off and keeps the voicemail to himself, where he tells Eric how much he appreciates him, tells him he sees him too. This universe, the one that matters, Dele tells him all he can think, inspired the words that have been echoing through his head since he heard them.

Eric lets out a confused hum, but collects Dele into his arms anyway, presses a straw kiss warm and soft in Dele’s hair. “What Del?” he asks with a small laugh, trying to pull back and catch his eyes, but Dele doesn’t let him, holding firm.

“You think I’m beautiful?” he asks again, not willing to explain it all just yet, wanting to feel steady on his feet, for everything to stop feeling like mismatched puzzle pieces.

“Course I do, or did you forget the part where I’ve been dating you for over a year?” Eric plays along with it and Jesus, Dele isn’t sure anyone has ever loved him like Eric does, goes along with him, is always in step with him even when Dele doesn’t know where he is walking.

Dele squeezed Eric tighter to him, hides his face in his neck, eyes squeezed tightly closed as he breathed him in. How did he he this man, passionate and kind, a heart to big for his body, but the patience to wait for an ignorant Dele.

The thought of Eric alone on his way home, feeling empty and so drunk, calling Dele in a desperate attempt to be close to him again, this acceptance in his mind that Dele loves someone else.

It makes him dig his fingers into Eric’s shoulder blades, for the tears to itch at his eyes once more, wishing he had the right words to give him the ability to explain to Eric completely the way that loving Eric was the whole fucking night sky compared to the star that he and Ruby had been.

God, Eric is probably the whole stupid universe every planet and constellation if Dele was honest with himself.

“Dele, did you have too much caffeine again? Are you feeling ok?”

Eric’s hand moved to press at Dele’s forehead as if Dele was in some sort of weird feverish state.

Dele shook his head, kissing up the side of Eric’s neck, knowing he’d show Eric soon, settle down on the couch with him and let him listen to it- sure he wouldn’t even remember those words, a secret confession years ago.

Dele pulls back enough just to press their lips together in a warm kiss, smiling when Eric tasted like that passion fruit dark chocolate he’d been obsessed with lately.

Whoever was responsible for sending Eric to him, whatever sweet intervention decided he loved Dele- he thanked them silently as Eric licks into his mouth, hands rubbing up and down his back in a soothing motion.

They do sit down, eventually, and Dele explains himself, head on Eric’s chest as he tells him what he’d stumbled upon. They sit in silence, tv muted in the background as Eric listens to it, flushing dark red, brow furrowed.

There’ll be time after to talk about it, for Dele to make the effort to tell Eric, things with him are better than anything ever has been.

For now, Dele just pulls Eric close, refuses to indulge Eric’s discomfort and embarrassment at the message. Just kisses him sweetly till they melt into each other tucked as close as they can be, both finally right where they should be.


End file.
